Greetings from Ohio.

We are losing jobs.

Young people move away in droves.

Corruption? Crikey, Richard Nixon is spinning in his grave at our incumbents.

But fear not: We've got people making sure that gay and lesbians can't adopt. I haven't felt this good since we said the sodomites couldn't marry. (And, since they can't marry, we all know this keeps them from having premarital sex. Have you heard how they do it? Ewww.)

In response to same, State Senator Bob Hogan has proposed (as a joke) my favorite piece of legislation this year: A bill banning registered Republicans from adopting children or serving as foster parents.

According to Hogan, of Youngstown, those raised by Republicans, while "significantly wealthier than their Democrat-raised counterparts," are "at risk for developing emotional problems, social stigmas, inflated egos, an alarming lack of tolerance for others they deem different than themselves and an air of overconfidence to mask their insecurities."

Now, unfortunately, Republican Jon Husted, speaker of the House, says that the bill to keep gays from adopting shouldn't pass this year because he thinks we have more pressing issues to deal with.

I can't think of what.

(My favorite detail from the above article? As we are putting more restrictions on who may adopt, Ohio has 3,000 children on adoption waiting lists.)

I'm not sure that Hogan's proposal is so bad.

PS: Author's disclaimer: He was raised by a registered Republican and a registered Democrat. For a brief time, in early second grade, I considered myself a Republican because my dad was. If you don't believe that I cared in second grade, check with anyone who knew me then.