Witnesseth, my friends, the little town of Randolph, Utah, where George W. Bush got 95.6% of the vote in 2004, and it appears they know who the seventeen people were who voted for John Kerry. This includes the postmaster, who one of the village residents refers to as "the village pseudo-intellectual." (He'd better watch his step, now, or his appointment won't last for long.)

Randolph sounds like about the kind of a place where you'd expect a 95.6% vote for the President.

When they talk about religious diversity, they mention the Catholic woman married to the illegal immigrant.

Race? Three African-Americans in the county. Two (twins!) on the cheerleading squad.

The author posits that Randolph has many reasons to be fond of the President:

There have been no funerals here from Bush's war on terrorism. There are no unemployment lines, no homeless people sleeping in doorways, no sick people being turned away from a hospital because of a lack of insurance, no crime to speak of, no security fence needed around the reservoir, no metal detectors at the schools.

Terrorist threats? That's anywhere but here. Iraq? That's somewhere over there. Hurricane Katrina? That was somewhere down there. Illegal immigrants? Not here, where everyone is fond of Ramon, who came long ago from Mexico and is married to the Catholic woman, who is the one non-Mormon everyone mentions when the conversation turns to religious diversity. As for racial diversity, everyone says there are three African Americans in the county, including the twins on the high school cheerleading squad, which also includes a Hispanic, according to the superintendent of schools, Dale Lamborn, which means "we've probably got the most diverse cheerleading squad in the state."

Yes, Bush is loved by most everyone in Randolph, including the woman who nearly dropped dead of heart failure and is working because of the health insurance, as well as the 77-year-old who works part time because social security won't finance her modest life.

Golly, I'm proud to be from Ohio today.