Dear Ellen:

I'm looking forward to attending your wedding tomorrow, which, I understand from the invitation, is under the auspices of the UCC. Since this will be a Uniform Commercial Code wedding, I assume that when the offer of marriage was made, your acceptance of same did not have to be a mirror image of the offer, so long as the terms of your acceptance did not materially differ from those of the offer and the offer was not expressly conditioned upon...

Oh, wait. United Church of Christ. I got it.

You'll have to forgive me. I'm studying for the bar, as you know, so, I see everything differently right now, including holy matrimony. By the way, if you and/or John have made any contracts in consideration of marriage, I'd suggest you make sure there's a writing describing the terms, identifying the patties, the subject matter, the terms and conditions of the agreement, with a recital of consideration, signed by the party to be charged, or else the contract won't be enforcable. See, it's this thing called the Statute of Frauds...

Wait, wait, no, I promise, I'll be good. Don't tear up my invitation. You want me at your wedding, I swear. I mean, you've known me since, heck, second grade, when the whole class had to try to convince me we were human beings, not human beans. Then there was that time in eighth grade when someone forgot that it was Old Ironsides, and not just Ironsides, thus costing our team the Academic Challenge championship. Of course, if we'd just had a learned treatise nearby, we'd have known it. Plus, we could have introduced it if relevant to a medical issue as independent substantive evidene providing a proper foundation to establish admissibility.

Ach, there I go again. Heck, even when I bought you your wedding gift this evening, I wondered if the glasses I purchased (what the hay, you're not going to read this until after your wedding) were a "divisible contract." This bar stuff is really getting to me.

As a result, as I said, I look forward to attending your wedding tomorrow. Look for me. I'll be the one looking for excessive entanglement between the state and the church.