Dear Michael:

Congratulations on getting 32 out of 50 evidence questions right. Feinberg said you should be at 65-70% by game day, so hopefully you can improve your score. Based on an analysis of your answers, here are some helpful hints:

1. When you think, "That looks like they're trying to fool me into a dying declaration," check to see if the not-dying-declaration is an excited utterance. (Because people who are dying are often excited.)

2. If you have a defendant who is on trial for sexual assault, admit his prior sexual assault evidence for any purpose you want. Call it the Prevert Exception.

3. You have yet to see a question where the defendant, when accused of something, who then hung his head and said nothing, WASN'T making an adoptive admission. No one cares that you don't think this is a terribly valid way of determining it's an admission, the bar examiners seem to like it, and hence, you, for the next seventeen days, should like it too.

4. A witness is not incompetent in federal court.

5. You can make a declaration of present bodily condition to anyone.

6. Referring to #5, we don't care that your give a damn is busted, the exam's in fifteen days.

7. Hearsay is an out of court statement offered to prove the truth of the matter asserted. This, you know. Therefore, when you see an out of court statement offered to prove the truth of the matter asserted, you should consider it hearsay. We wouldn't take your time to trouble you with this, but you failed to do that on #80.

8. Parrots cannot commit hearsay, you birdbrain.